part 2/3: the deviation

Posted on: March 8, 2010

that was the last straw… i came home from my birthday party in tagaytay… only to find out i had lost the money i kept in my room… for the nth time and some of my gadgets were missing too. with all the coldness and lies, i left home… stayed at a friend’s house. then and there i decided to live by myself. i decided to get a place of my own.

when my mother died, the elders had decided to ship us off with them but for me that was the land of nowhere. i had work. i had my so-called family. i chose to remain… after that, everyone was blaming me for her death… emails pouring in about what a useless daughter i was.

my father came home to try to fix things or maybe to lie to his current wife.  two weeks of agony. i was barraged with questions. what did my friends do for a living? he didn’t like my friends…  why did i choose to get a home in some far-off place that looked like it was punished by the gods? even my utensils were questioned… i was keeping my resolve to be quiet until a horrendous decision came… marry me off to some man?! it was pure detestion. from then on… i allowed no more emails and no more calls. nothing.

i started having mood swings and lost my temper often. i had arguments with people in authority at work. it was hard for me not show my feelings… there were times that i didn’t know what i was really feeling. i became hard headed… stopped listening to advises and made my own rules…

i defied the truth too and made myself to believe that everything would come into place… but if only we could defy our hearts so easily…

yun lang.

♥ melai


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Frequently Asked Questions

1. i can't understand some of the words or sentences...
...this blog is written in what we filipinos call taglish. a combination of filipino (tagalog) and english. my language teachers back in college and high school would hate me. nyahaha. there are times when i rant in korean (hangugo) too...

2. you don't look filipino...
...ehm?! no i am not egyptian or arabian. grabe naman!...

3. you focus a lot on noobcakes. what are they?
...they are actually people. my bestfriends. they are what makes life, with all the hurdles and strains, easier and happy. i'm sure you have your own "noobcakes"too...

4. what's a miming?
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